After I completed my intermediate (11th and 12 th grade), in Darjeeling, I went to southern part of India, to a state name Andhra Pradesh for my Bachelors. My younger sister Mailee also accompanied me and we joined a college run by missionary sisters. She joined for her 11th and 12th grade and we had to share the same room in the college hostel. The hostels there have either a double bedded or a four bedded room, so we took a double bedded room for us. Mailee and I had the best of the relations and we had a very close bonding as sisters, but the problem started in the second year when our distant cousin Ramree joined us and I started becoming intimate with her. Mailee started feeling isolated, jealous, and indifferent towards me and our good relation as sisters got ruined.
The hostel where we stayed is a Girl’s hostel run by the same missionary sisters who are very strict. In our first year, my sister and I shared the best of the relations. We were very close and friendly, and we shared everything from clothes, cosmetics to food and we even had common friends because she is just 14 months younger than me and there’s not much difference between us. Sharing our favorite dresses was fun. The warden, teachers and our friend loved and cared for us and they were very glad to see the great bonding between us, but things changed when our distant cousin Ramree joined us, in the second year of our college my sister started becoming resentful towards me. She became jealous and got angry with me because I cared for the cousin more than I cared for her.
In the hostel, there is no system of single room for a one person like here in the US. Back in India, and also in our Nepali culture, the children share a common room with parents until they are able to do everything by themselves. When they grow older they either share a room with bigger brother, sister, aunt or uncle living with the family. There is usually a system of an extended family where one lives with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle together. So sharing a room with sisters and friends is common thing there, and had to take a four bedded room when our cousin joined us. We three were very good friends in the beginning but slowly my sister started feeling neglected and started growing resentful when I took care of Ramree.
However, when I look back I realize that my sister was right to feel bad. I obviously took more care of Ramree than Mailee because she was very sickly and pale and had some issues with her heart. I felt that she needed more love and care and it was my duty as a bigger sister to take care of her, and forgot about my own sister. Besides that she had many other issues and had to be hospitalized frequently and I had to leave my sister in the hostel, to stay in the hospital with Ramree many times. Ramree was a fun loving person and used to crack jokes and she was a happy person to be with. So I was drawn towards her jovial and friendly nature, which my sister didn’t like. My sister started becoming angry with me and stopped eating and talking with me. At one time she was very weak and started fainting in class. . There was a time when she told me that she wouldn’t hesitate to kill me if she had to, because I gave everything to Ramree which I used to give her. Now I realize that this happened because I neglected her when she wanted more love and care from me.
Now, even after seven years, when I recall those moments in the hostel I feel guilty of not taking the best care of my sister. I regret and feel guilty because Ramree moved to Australia and has forgotten me. I called her many times after I came to the US, but she never made an attempt to call me back. She hardly replies to any of my mails and I feel that I am served right for not taking care of my sister then. My sister lives in Phoenix and we share a very good relation. We help each other when in need and still share our little secrets. Whenever I see her, I recall those past memories and feel bad about my attitude towards her. I now know that she was right to feel jealous, resentful and angry towards me. I learned a lesson that no matter how close you are with others, blood relation is stronger than any other relations and I always cherish our sisterly love.
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